Thanks people for all ur concerns. Yang call aku pagi2 buta pesan dont go to work. Which unfortunately aku berdegil jugak masuk opis hari ni. Wah wah konon perkerja cemerlang gemilang dah terbilang lah itu. Gaji still banyak itu jugak iya. Ok ok saya bersyukur dengan rezeki yang ada. Yang texted me, PM, fb and kesemuanyalah. Tengkiu darlings 🙂

Well Im getting better now. Even though mentabahkan diri pegi opis pagi ni, I surrendered as early as 11 am. I could barely sit on the office chair even though it erogenic. Eh camne lah the spelling,ntah. Apparently bed, comfy pillow and warm duvet are more appealing. Aku sudah gelap mata dan ala-ala pitam pada pukul 11 pagi itu. Maybe I couldn’t sit for long hours. Terasa sakit dan bisa di perut. The pain comes and goes, bukan sentiasa sakit. So apa lagi, harus packed my stuffs and shoot balik rumah. Gagah ok I drove all the way alone. MNI is still in KL and I have to take care of my own self. Tidak mengapa, saya superwoman. Sheeshh.

Fortunately, I didn’t undergo D&C which is a procedure to scrap the uterus and ensure it’s clean. Doctor said my uterus sudah clear, just nak keluarkan blood totally sahaja, so he gave me hormone pills to induce bleeding and regulate my cycle back to normal again. I read a lot on the D&C, and it sounds so takut and painful. Thank God i didn’t have to do that.

As for now, I still need to jaga makan.. Hey man, the night after miscarriage aku dah makan Chilis ok. Haha pada ketika itu tak tau lagi kena jaga makan. Ok my bad. MNI plak sungguh lurus bawak saya pegi makan Chilis sebab kesiankan bininya yang mengidam Chilis sejak sebulan lepas. Malam lepas mkn Chilis tu lah, bleeding sungguh hebat tidak ingat. Seriously, i will take good care of myself after this. Serik sudah.

And kami jugak harus berpantang untk tidak ‘bersama’ at least after one menstrual cycle. (Haruskah tulis di sini. Khekhek) When I showed mama’s sms suh kami berpuasa selama sebulan lebih to MNI, his reaction was  ‘oh kena puasa ke. Sebulan lebih,lamanya yang’.. Kikiki. That is important to ensure rahim saya sudah kuat and boleh lekat lagi pregnancy after this. Amin.

The rest, suma tak bnyk yang kena pantang. Just tak boleh buat kerja berat-berat and banyak berehat. Berpantang at least kena 20 hari, but seelok-eloknya 44 hari lah sama macam orang yang bersalin. I am physically ok, seriously I feel strong enough already to go to work, buat kerja rumah and stuffs (tapi bleh pitam pagi tadi la? hiks), but macam mama selalu pesan, memang kita rasa sihat, but kita taktau apa jadik dengan sistem peranakan kat dalam kan. Itu yang important kena jaga. So kena jugak berpantang! Mama sudah warning ok. Saya tidak mahu derhaka.

Talking about mental effect, Im still NOT ok. Still recovering very slowly and Im pretty sure it takes quite some time. Sayu rasa hati tu still terasa, selalu terbayang dan teringat serta berasa sedih. I might look ok in my face, but hati ni only God knows.Walau apa pun, saya redha and I believe everything happened has His blessings. Just pray for another rezeki.Amin.

I got a new lappie already. That anwers kerajinan saya meng-update blog, disamping sebab i am alone at home, bosan, boring and husband-less. Blogging is a reason to kill my time. I opted for netbook because it’s small (1kg only), cheaper and fits my needs. MNI had a notebook instead, so his is more powerful sebab guna Intel ape ntah while mine is using Intel Atom sahaja. Maka kalau rasa netbook aku ni slow seperti siput, aku akan pau notebook MNI. Dah bgth dia awal2 that his notebook is also mine and I can use it whenever I want to. Hiks. I love u abg 🙂 Dari awal pembelian lagi he said I could get a notebook for the same price as my netbook, if I dont mind not to have a vaio. But aku kan degil, nak vaio jugak, padehal with the same price I could get a notebook of different brand yang lagi powerful. Takpelah, kalau netbook ni mcam kura-kura, I have his Acer yang power itu. Hiks.

Ok, I’m going to sleep. With an empty bed again 😦 Cepatlah hari Rabu kembali bersama chenta hatiku. Ecehhcehche.  Ggnyte people.

Hugs *