This gonna be quick. Coz I am still in trauma. I didn’t believe that so many things had happened in February. And everything was really menguji tahap kesabaran, even though I treat that as dugaan dan mungkin ada peringatan yang Dia nak tunjukkan.

  • Rumah kami dirompak dengan hebat. The safety was broken and we lost all the valuables. Terpaksa memulakan kehidupan baru seriously seperti from beginning. Total lost really drove us crazy.
  • Completed my project and presented to the management. And it was NOT APPROVED ! The whole team will need to do some re-work and re-present to the management for approval. Which means I need to extent my stay in Miri. Gosh, I’ve packed all my stuffs back to KL. And now I need to survive with one month attire supply for another 3-4 months. (It’s a happy thing though coz I can be with MNI for another 3 months perhaps) —- But sangat sedih project tak approve. Ntah I’m a bit here and there.
  • On the day my project was rejected, doctor mengesahkan I was 7-weeks preggie. Oohoo hooray that was kind of menutup ratapan sebab project yang suxs itu.
  • Perabot sampai ke rumah baru kami. And hooray again sebab I kemas rumah like tidak hengat yang I was preggie.
  • Malam mengemas rumah itu, I was bleeding dengan maha dasyat. The next day jugak darah tidak berhenti malahan menjadik lebih hebat. We went to the clinic, but they sent me to a specialist. And aku disahkan miscarriage. Oh God I nearly lost my soul memikirkan betapa banyaknya dugaan yang kami tempuh. When I saw the ‘thing’ yang baru nak menjadik baby itu, I was crying like nobody’s bisness tapi dalam toilet je lah. Because I didn’t want MNI to get sad as well apabila melihatnya. Sampai sekarang aku still terbayang-bayang and sebak bila teringatkannya. Tuhan je tau betapa sedihnya jauh kat hati aku ni.
  • And now, I need to berpantang sama seperti orang lepas bersalin especially tak boleh makan benda2 sejuk and seafood. But takdelah aku berbengkung bagai. Just jaga makan and tak buat kerja berat2.

Apa-apa pun, Im grateful and percaya setiap yang berlaku akan ada hikmahnya. Dan I am so thankful to have MNI yang sangat tenang, sabar and gives me support in all situations. Everytime I look into his eyes, I know how sad he is. And every time tu jugak aku akan jadik sangat sebak and nak menitik air mata. Not about rumah dirompak or project aku itu, but definitely because of the miscarriage. I know that was his most wanted birthday present. I felt so bad for not making his wish true. I love u so much abg.

Btw, thanks to all frens who gave support and strengths too. I love you all. And to my family jugak yang bnyk bagi semangat dan dorongan. Doakan yang terbaik utk kami and doakan kami ada rezki lagi lepas ni ya.

I’ll fly back to Miri tomorrow. Start routine work again and hopefully March will bring happy returns.

Hugs.

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