Oh seperti Datin Diaries pula entry ini. Well, I got this from Rapijal. Walaupun lelaki itu nampak tegar, dia ialah ada sedikit ketamanan di hatinya. Walau apa pun, aku selalu setuju ngan lelaki ni sebab dia adalah dikategorikan sebagai warga emas yang makan garam lebih awal dari aku. So dalam soal relationship, bole pakai jugak lah lelaki itu. Habeslah aku kena ngan si Rap panggil dia hati taman. Miaahaha.

And seharusnya aku meletak my 2 cents which may or may not be true. 

Dating Diaries: Ten Dating Red Flags

When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it’s worth it for you.

1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news

Were you the last to learn about this person’s job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.

Betol itu. Takkanlah jika kau merupakan org penting bagi dia, dia nak ketepikan kau dalam hal yang sangat penting untuk diri dia. Not to say dia kena ketepikan org yang lebih penting contohnya family, it’s just meletakkan kau di kalangan VIP dalam list hidup dia. Of course kalau kau ialah gf/bf dia, but apa-apa hal penting, kau tak tahu. Apekah itu?

2. They avoid meeting your family or friends

If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

I have no problem with this. Seriously, if I think things are getting serious, I don’t mind at all to meet friends and family. Tapi seharusnya seriouslah nak membawa aku pergi berjumpa itu. Bukanlah membuat assumption sendiri yang aku sebenarnya tidak mahu, tidak selesa atau saja nak mengelak tanpa bertanya direct dengan aku. If tanya aku betul2 dengan serious, aku takkan mengelak and definitely willing to go sebab semestinya kita kena juga menghadap family, if not now later pun kena juga. Tapi kalau dah ada assumption sendiri (which merangkum keputusan sendiri) dan cakap semacam melepaskan batuk di tangga, takkanlah aku pulak yang semangat nak kata ‘oh actually i don’t mind to meet them’. Mestilah aku akan tidak akan cakap begitu dan diam sahaja walaupun tidak agree dgn assumption itu.

3. They don’t make any sacrifices

Healthy relationships don’t require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid — an event he never would have gone to if she hadn’t have invited him. Now that’s sacrifice.

Seharusnya ada pengorbanan walaupun we cannot please everyone at one time. Sekurang-kurangnya ada effort pun dah cukup bagus kan. 

4. They can’t fit in your future

I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at asummer crabfeast. If I’m really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.

Semestinya; sebab kau memang nak spend the rest of your life dengan dia, bukankah?

5. They are too controlling

It’s scary but I’ve seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.

Ini tidak bagus. I disagree dengan control control ini. Kerajaan pun demokrasi sekrang ni dek nun (walaupun too much birocracy). Yang penting ialah tahu jaga limit and at least bagitahu ke mana arah tujuan kamu. Being ourselves is the best way untuk tidak menipu ok. Kalau dah plastik plastik, itu dah menipu namanya. Tidak bagus.

6. The “what are we” conversation fails miserably

Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it’s worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you’re ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

Ini adalah masalah apabila kamu tidak tahu nak jawab kalau org tanya, dia ni siapa? Kau nak jawab kawan kah, bf kah,gf kah, tunang kah? Kalau kamu tak selesa nak kata dia itu bf/gf , fiancee, bakal wife or husband ke apa, then ada masalah lah itu.

7. They talk about plans that don’t involve you

My sister has major wanderlust. She’s always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don’t let yourself get too into this person.

Ini kalau dalam plan dia, dia bnyk being individualistic. Contohnya bila becakap tentang masa depan atau plan apa-apa, dia selalu kata ‘saya’ instead of ‘kita’. Nampak sangat suma plan dia adalah without you, and kamu ialah tidak berada di tempat kejadian bersama dia. Lagi teruk kalau dia memang tak cakap langsung tentang plan masa depan besama kamu.

8. Your friends or family don’t like them

Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don’t take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It’s one thing if a person or two don’t get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

Sebab itulah macam aku kata tadi, adalah amat penting untuk kenal family and kawan masing-masing. Bukan tujuan saja main-main nak jumpa family suma. If we think he/she is our future, of course kita nak family kenal hati budi masing-masing kan.

9. They violated your trust

Whether it’s cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don’t give away easily, and once it’s gone it’s hard to get it back. We’ll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.

Ini adalah sangat penting. memang susah nak gain smula trust, kalau sekali kau dah buat pasal. Maka sebaiknya, trust each other and janganlah buat benda pelik2 di belakang.

10. You practice “unbalanced dating”

Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you’re not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.

Btollah ini. Takkan suma one side je kan. Ohho~

 

So camner. Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?

P/S Maaf sekiranya aku menyinggung perasaan sesiapa.
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